KB15 - The Friday 4 - Foul Weather Friends and The Power of Reframing

mindset mindset advice the friday 4 May 19, 2023

Read Time: 6 Minutes

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#1 - You don’t have to get it right; you just have to get it going.

Last week I spent four glorious kid-free days in Marrakech and to say that my batteries have been fully recharged would be an understatement.

One of the things I wanted to sink my teeth into this year is Youtube, but for some reason, We’re almost halfway through the year, and I hadn’t even started yet.

I finally dusted off my channel this week and filmed a new video because of a quote I heard whilst I was away..

“You don’t have to get it right; you just have to get it going” - Mike Litman

The reason for not getting started with Youtube?  I was waiting for the perfect time to script the perfect video and find the perfect thumbnail before starting on my channel.

I was so focused on getting it right the first time that I didn’t start!

This quote has helped me realise that you don’t need all the answers now; you need to get it going.

  • If you want to exercise but don’t know what you’re doing in the gym, don’t wait to read the book or for a coach to give you a programme; get there and move some iron around.
  • If you’re sick and tired of your job and looking for the perfect replacement, don’t wait for it to fall on your lap; start looking and applying for new ones; it doesn’t have to be the “perfect replacement”. The goal is to get out of the miserable job you’re currently doing!

 

You’ve got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down - Ray Bradbury

 

#2 - Fair Weather Friends vs Foul Weather Friends

let's dive into friendship - that quirky, erratic, yet endearing aspect of life.

We're dealing with two categories here: fair-weather friends and foul-weather friends.

Fair Weather Friends

They're like the perfect summer day. They come alive when everything's dandy and bright in your world. They're there for the laughs, the parties, the thrills. But when the storm hits, they're more elusive than a snowflake in the Sahara.

Foul Weather Friends

These warriors stand with you through the thunder and downpour. They’re not put off by a bit of rain or wind. In the face of trouble, they’ll brave the tempest and offer you their steadfast companionship.

Remember, both types have their value. Fair-weather friends bring moments of joy, while foul-weather friends offer a hand when you stumble.

But when the clouds roll in, the foul-weather friends share your umbrella.

Aim to be that kind of friend: there for the sunny days but also ready to face the storm. In friendship, consistency beats fair weather every time.

 

#3 - The Power of Reframing

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs that make you feel like a cartoon character getting repeatedly hit in the head.

So, what's the secret to not ending up like Wile E. Coyote post-anvil-dropping? One word: Reframing.

Reframing is the power to take any situation – no matter how dire – and twist it, turn it, flip it upside down to view it in a new light.

Let's say your boss gave you more work than you can handle.

Instead of seeing it as a one-way ticket to Stressville, reframe it.

See it as a trust exercise, a chance to improve your time-management skills, or an opportunity to strut your stuff and shine.

Sounds too simple? Yeah, it does. But that's the beauty of it.

Reframing isn’t about denying reality; it's about choosing which aspect of reality you decide to focus on.

It's choosing to see the opportunity in the obstacle, the lesson in the failure, and the potential in the problem.

The trick to reframing, though, is honesty.

You can't just slap a happy sticker on a crappy situation and call it a day.

You have to dig deep, get real, and find a perspective that's true to you, one that empowers and motivates you.

So, next time life gives you a sour lemon, don't just make lemonade. Reframe it. See it as life's quirky way of supplying you with free citrus!

Remember, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it.

 

#4 - The 5 Why’s

Ask enough why’s, and you’ll get don’t to the root cause of your problem.

I had a person come to me not long ago and say that they were struggling to lose weight, and no matter what diet they tried to stick to, they couldn’t drop the weight.

I asked them why?

They said it was because they have been so busy and all their routines have been out of whack!

I asked them why?

They said it was because they’d just moved house and were juggling a brand new job.

I asked them why?

They said it’s because they were unhappy where they were previously, so they moved home and career.

I asked them why?

They said they were constantly arguing with their partner and decided to separate, go their ways and start again from scratch.

I asked them why?

They said because they had fallen out of love and we’re both very different people from when they first met.

They wanted different things now and never saw eye to eye.

At first, this question seemed like nothing more than a person struggling to keep consistent with their diet, but the deeper we go and unpack it, the more we need to address before looking at their diet.

If you’re struggling with something, I want you to do this exercise yourself.

Ask yourself enough why’s, and you’ll eventually get yourself to the real reasons you’re not where you want to be.

 

TL:DR

👉 Don’t wait for the perfect moment to get things going. Start!

👉 Find your Foul Weather Friends. The people that will be there for you no matter the weather.

👉 Look at everything that happens to you as an opportunity to improve. You don’t learn anything from a perfect week.

👉 If you’re struggling with something right now, it’s important to get down to the root cause of it. Ask enough why’s, and you’ll find the answer.

 

I hope you enjoyed reading this week's Friday Four, and I’ll see you next week for more Knowledge Bombs.

 

Jay Alderton

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