KB#29 - The Friday Four - The Best Revenge

mindset mindset advice the friday 4 Aug 25, 2023

Read Time: 5 Minutes

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#1 - Six Signs of an Emotionally Intelligent Person

In this crazy, hyper-online era, if you're not emotionally intelligent, you're basically bringing a knife to a gunfight.

We've all heard of IQ – that score that says, "Hey, I can solve math problems!" But emotional intelligence, or “EQ”, is the real game changer you should focus on improving.

It's all about how well you can read the room, handle your crap, and connect with other humans without losing your mind.

Digital marketing and social media have turned our world into this weird, always-on reality show. And in this circus, EQ isn’t just a nice-to-have – it’s your golden ticket to not screwing up everything.

Think you’ve got a strong EQ game? Check if you have these six signs…

  1. You’re not a snowflake. Emotionally intelligent people don't melt when things get hot. It's not that they're emotionless robots, but they know getting offended over every little thing isn't the way. Negative feedback? They treat it like free life advice, not a knife to the heart. They can dance through drama without missing a beat.
  2. You own your mess. Look, we all screw up. But emotionally intelligent people? They admit it. No burying their heads, no blame games – just a straightforward, "Yeah, I messed up. Here's how I'll fix it."
  3. You don't hang with emotional vampires. Mastering your inner emotional world means knowing which people to keep around and which to block, unfriend, or ghost. If someone's sucking the life out of you, an emotionally intelligent person isn't afraid to cut the cord.
  4. Progress over perfection, always. Emotionally intelligent people know life’s about the ride, not the Instagram-worthy destination. They're cool with stumbling and bumbling along because it's all part of getting better.
  5. You cherish your Zzzs. Sound weird? Well, good sleep isn't just about dodging under-eye bags. It's about giving your brain a break. If you're sleeping right, you're setting yourself up to handle life's curveballs like a pro.
  6. You're the king or queen of questions. Those with killer emotional intelligence don't just make assumptions. They dive deep, asking questions that get to the heart of the matter.

Emotional Intelligence isn't about being the smartest in the room but being the most dialled-in.

In a world full of noise, it's your secret weapon to actually make sense of it all.


#2 - A Calm Mind

Ever been caught in a situation that felt like your brain was on a rollercoaster? Click, clack, click, clack..., and before you know it, you're barreling down at 100mph with your thoughts all over the place? Yeah, me too.

I stumbled across a great quote this week:

"A Mind that can stay calm under any circumstance makes smarter decisions."

Boom. It's like getting a 2x4 smacked across your forehead with the truth!

(and if you understand that reference, you’ve just gone up a few points in my good books!)

Let's break it down...

Calm = Clarity

When you're calm, you see things others don't. It's like you have this super cool X-ray vision that lets you see through the fog. All the drama and noise fades away, leaving the raw, pure decision in front of you.

Avoid the Domino Effect

Reacting (especially overreacting) sets off a domino effect. One wrong move, and everything tumbles. But if you stay calm, you're in control. No toppling towers.

People TRUST Calm

Let's be real - who would you rather follow? The panicking headless chicken or the zen master who's calmly navigating the storm? Exactly.

So how do we stay “calm amongst the chaos”? Here are a few ways...

Daily Doses of Meditation: Not asking you to be a monk. Just 10 minutes. There are many apps out there - pick one, and stick with it. It's like a gym for your brain.

Breathe!: Deep breath in. Hold. Let it out. Do it now. Feels good, right?

Keep Perspective: Ask yourself, "Will this matter in 10 years?" No? Then maybe it's not worth losing your cool over.

Surround Yourself with Calm Influences: Got a friend who's always hyped up and stressed? Maybe spend a bit less time with them. Find your chill crew.

Remember this: your brain is your powerhouse. But it works best when it’s cool, calm, and collected.

Work on that, and watch how your decisions - and life - change.


#3 - The Best Revenge

Ever heard the phrase, “Revenge is a dish best served cold”?

Well, I’ve got a better one for you…

“The Best Revenge is a Dish Never Served”

Now, I get it. When someone wrongs you, it’s super tempting to daydream about the perfect comeback.

We’ve all been there - plotting that revenge fantasy where we show up at our school reunion in a chopper or where that ex-boss who treated you like dirt sees you on the cover of “Forbes”.

Here’s the deal: chasing revenge is like trying to wash off mud with more mud. It’s messy and, honestly, a waste of your precious time.

Here’s why you should toss that revenge dish out the window:

  1. It’s a mental energy hog: Constantly plotting and planning revenge is just...exhausting. Imagine pouring all that energy into your goals and passions instead. Success multiplied.
  2. Keep the spotlight on YOU: Instead of making someone else the focal point of your life story, make it about YOU. Your growth. Your success. Your glow-up.
  3. Karma has your back: Sometimes, life has a way of balancing things out. Let the universe do its thing. Focus on being the best version of YOU.
  4. You attract what you focus on: Think about it. You will attract more negativity if you’re always focusing on negative vibes. Channel that energy towards positivity, and you’ll magnetically pull in good vibes.

So the next time someone wrongs you, instead of plotting revenge, send out gratitude. Yep, sounds woo-woo, but trust me.

Thank them mentally for showing you what you DON’T want to become or how you DON’T want to behave. Use that experience as fuel for growth.

The world is like a giant mirror. Be the reflection you want to see. Shine bright, and let success be your loudest answer.


#4 - The Snake Story

Today I want to share with you an epic story by Diane Johnson about a man and a snake…

“A man saw a snake being burned to death and decided to take it out of the fire. When he did, the snake bit him, causing excruciating pain. The man dropped the snake, and the reptile fell right back into the fire.

“So, the man looked around and found a metal pole and used it to take the snake out of the fire, saving its life.

“Someone who was watching approached the man and said: ‘That snake bit you. Why are you still trying to save it?’

“The man replied: ‘The nature of the snake is to bite, but that's not going to change my nature, which is to help.’

“Do not change your nature simply because someone harms you. Do not lose your good heart, but learn to take precautions.”

This story is about you every time you face setbacks and naysayers.

Every time you're tempted to become bitter or give up your dreams because of a few snakebites.

Your nature? That's your superpower. Whether it’s to create, help, inspire, or whatever it is that makes you YOU. Hold onto that, no matter how many “snakes” try to bite you.

Here’s the twist: Always remember the metal pole.

Find smarter ways to pursue your goals. Learn from your mistakes. Be strategic. Sometimes, success isn’t just about persistence but also about using the right tools and approaches.



👉  Emotional Intelligence: The bigger the EQ, the better your life will be. Read the signs and focus on improving them.

👉 A Calm Mind: Don’t allow feelings to affect your future. Approach everything with a calm mind so you can think more clearly.

👉 The Best Revenge: is a dish never served. Save your energy and focus on things that are going to have a positive impact on your life.

👉 The Snake Story. Your nature is your superpower! How others treat you is a reflection of THEM, not you.


I hope you enjoyed this week's Friday Four; see you next week for another instalment.

Jay Alderton

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