KB#28 - The Friday Four - Heroes, Victims and Villains

mindset mindset advice the friday 4 Aug 18, 2023

Read Time: 5 Minutes

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#1 - Heroes, Victims and Villains

Three individuals, each thrown into the chaotic whirlwind of life, battling adversities and undergoing a massive amount of pain and suffering.

And yet, each ends up with a drastically different fate: hero, villain, or victim. Why?

The Hero's Journey:

Heroes aren't just born with capes on their backs and an innate ability to save the world. Here's how it typically plays out for them:

  1. The Struggle: It’s the darkest before the dawn. Every hero faces this — a trial that seems almost insurmountable.
  2. Help from the Unlikeliest Places: No hero does it alone. A mentor or a wise friend often steps in, showing them the path.
  3. The Big Reveal: Boom! There's this profound moment when the hero discovers their shortcomings. And oh boy, it's a game changer.
  4. Master of Both Worlds: Post their revelation and victory, heroes aren't the same. They know the comforts of their old world and the harsh realities of the new one.
  5. Sharing the Love: What's the use of a transformation if you can't pass it on? Heroes always circle back and sprinkle their newfound wisdom.

The Villain's Twisted Tale:

Surprisingly, our villain's story isn’t that different from our hero’s. Here's the lowdown:

  1. Adversity Strikes: Just like our hero, our villain faces the storm head-on.
  2. Inner Void: Both are missing something crucial. That thing that stops them from being their best selves.
  3. Unlikely Allies: Yup, villains have their mentors too. Someone who fans the flames of their rage or ambition.
  4. Charismatic AF: They don’t get those hordes of followers just by being evil. It’s that compelling aura they have.
  5. The Mark They Leave: Like a stain or a scar, villains change the world, often leaving a trail of destruction.

Our victim, well, they're kinda stuck in a loop. The world hits them, and instead of hitting back or rising above, they just... take it. Over and over again.

Here's the gist: Heroes and Villains? Their origin stories are almost identical. Both are wracked by pain. But here's where they differ:

The villain thinks: “The world hurt me. I'll hurt it back.” The hero declares: “The world hurt me. I'm gonna make sure it doesn’t hurt anyone else.”

In our own lives, we've all been wronged, hurt, or challenged. And at any point, we have the choice — Do we let that pain empower us (hero), let it corrupt us (villain), or let it consume us (victim)?

Every day, you get to decide. Will adversity be your mentor guiding you towards growth?

Or will you let it drive you towards decay?

And if you ever find yourself playing the victim, remember…

Heroes use pain. Villains are used by it.


#2 - How Success Really Works

Ever felt like giving up because the results aren't showing up as fast as you'd like?

Pull up a chair, grab a coffee, and let’s chat about the legendary Usain Bolt and what he’s got to teach us.

To quote the man himself…

“I trained 4 years to run only 9 seconds. There are people who do not see results in 2 months, give up and leave. Sometimes failure is sought by oneself.” – Usain Bolt

Let that sink in for a second.

Usain Bolt trained for FOUR long years.

Not for an hour-long race. Not even for a marathon.

But for a race that's over in just NINE seconds.

That’s like... prepping all week for a delicious sandwich and devouring it in one bite!

What are the lessons here?

1. Good Things Take Time.

We're so used to instant gratification in our Amazon Prime, Netflix-binge world.

But some of the most worthwhile things? They require patience.

Think of a fine wine or how a caterpillar turns into a butterfly.

The process is slow, but the outcome is oh-so-sweet.

2. Stick-to-it-iveness is Key.

Ever tried to build a habit or pick up a new skill? It's damn hard in the beginning, right?

But consistency, that gritty grind – that's where the magic is.

If Bolt gave up in the third year because he felt he wasn’t "fast enough," we wouldn’t have that iconic lightning pose, would we?

3. Failure is Self-imposed.

Sometimes, our biggest enemy isn’t the task at hand. It’s that lil negative voice inside our heads. The one that says, “It's too hard,” “Maybe this isn't for you,” or “Look, Sally got it in two weeks, and you're still struggling.”

Here's a thought: What if you stopped seeking failure and started seeking progress instead?

Next time you're on the brink of throwing in the towel because you didn't see those results in the "expected" timeframe, remember our man Usain.

Sometimes the journey is long, the rewards fleeting, but the legacy? That lasts forever.

Keep running your race, and remember, every step, no matter how small, is one step closer to your gold medal moment.


#3 - The Two Types of Benefit

Something that I’ve said for a long time is this…

“There's two types of people, one wants to know the benefit before doing things and the other does things to see the benefit.”

You always want to aim to be that second person. And here's why…

Curiosity Didn’t Kill the Cat – It Made Him Wiser

Imagine you’re at a party, and someone hands you this weird-looking fruit. Half the people are asking, “What's it taste like? Is it sweet? Sour? Worth my time?” The other half? They’re taking a bite and KNOWING what it's like.

Who do you think has the real answer?

It’s the same with anything in life, whether it’s trying out a new diet or picking up a hobby like, I dunno, ballroom dancing. πŸ•ΊπŸ’ƒ

Instead of hovering around, endlessly pondering about the benefits, jump in.

Your personal experience will always, ALWAYS be more valuable than 50 people’s opinions.

The Power of Action Over Assumption

When you take action, two magical things happen:

  1. You Get a Real, Authentic Experience. There's a difference between theory and practice. I could read about riding a bike all day, but unless I get on one and pedal my heart out, I won’t really know the thrill (or the falls, ouch!).
  2. You Learn and Adapt Faster. When you dive into something, you get immediate feedback. It works, or it doesn't. And if it doesn't? Well, you tweak, adjust, and try again. That’s something no amount of asking can give you.

So the next time you find yourself hovering on the edge of something, remember this quote.

Be the person who dives in to see the benefit. Be curious, be bold, and be the person who takes action.

You might just surprise yourself. Plus, you'll have one hell of a story to tell!


#4 - An Emotionally Mature Person

Let’s finish today’s newsletter with something that’s deep, cool, and (yes!) super attractive to others…

Emotional Maturity.

I've been snooping around, reading deep thoughts, and noticing these people for many years.

There are certain traits that scream, "This person’s got their sh*t together”

Let’s dive into the top six signs:

  1. Beliefs Aren't Boxing Gloves: Emotionally mature people don’t go around punching everyone with their beliefs. We all have opinions. But emotionally mature people get that not everyone needs to see the world through their lenses.
  2. Silent Hustle: Here’s the truth: the real magic happens behind the curtains. Those times when you’re sweating it out, grinding, and nobody's around to throw confetti? THAT’s where champions are made. Remember: you’re not doing it for the gram; you’re doing it for the soul.
  3. Mind > Ego: So you’re mad. Or ecstatic. Or maybe you’re green with envy. Cool story. But emotionally mature people? They've trained their minds to sit in the driver's seat while emotions chill in the back. Emotions are there. They’re felt. But they’re not the boss.
  4. It's Not About You (Mostly): Someone gave you the cold shoulder. Another one shouted at you in traffic. Problem? No. Emotionally mature individuals don’t take everything as a personal attack. They understand people have their own worlds, their own stories. It’s liberating, honestly.
  5. Gossip Who?: Back in the day, the grapevine was the thing. Who’s dating who, which celeb tripped on the red carpet, and OMG, did you hear about...? Emotionally Mature People? They’ve unsubscribed from that newsletter. They're too busy crafting their own epic stories in their lives.
  6. Inner Happy Factory: Harsh Truth: If you’re waiting for someone else to complete your happy puzzle, you might be waiting a while. The emotionally mature person know the secret: True happiness? It’s a DIY project.



πŸ‘‰  Heroes, Victims and Villains: When you experience pain and suffering next, you have three options... Let it consume you, use it to get back at the world or use it to help the world get better

πŸ‘‰ How Success Works: Usain Bolt trained for four years for 9 seconds of glory. Be more patient and persistent with your goals!

πŸ‘‰ The Two Types of Benefit. There comes a point in your life when you need to stop asking questions and dive right in. Action and Experience will teach you more than others' opinions

πŸ‘‰ An Emotionally Mature Person. Read the list and tick the boxes you already possess; if a few are missing, make a note and work on changing them.


I hope you enjoyed this week's Friday Four; see you next week for another instalment.

Jay Alderton

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